[ no matter how lonely it could be, only having stefan from home, and him being half-ripper, elena hadn't ever really wanted anyone else from home to show up here. it's hard enough trying to navigate the cdc for herself and stefan, and stefan's actively doing his best to keep them safe -- trying to figure their way around more than just the two of them would be more work than elena is sure she's capable of.
that doesn't change the fact that when caroline had showed up, she'd been glad, just for a second. after that she remembered where they were and what it meant, of course, but that doesn't change the fact that for just that one second, she was happy to see her. it's something she feels guilty about now -- it's not good that caroline is here, not by a long shot -- but she's trying her best to make up for it by being the most informative she can possibly be about all this. ]
Okay, so you're on green team. That means you're helping to keep the recruits safe -- which means that we're basically meat shields. We take care of the people who would try to kill everyone else. Last planet it was a non-sentient race called the shai, but on Macha it might be different, we don't know yet. Do you know how to shoot a gun?
[ as far as elena knows caroline has no experience with guns -- why would she need any? vampires are far more deadly than any gun -- but she might be wrong. who knows what she's missed back home, if she's missed anything where caroline is concerned -- she's not sure what time it is exactly that caroline is from yet.
it's easier to think about these things than to actually let herself process that caroline Is here, and eventually she'll have to help destroy macha just like elena had to help destroy ajna. it's alarming how having someone new here can throw into such stark relief what elena has managed to adjust to in the months she's been with the cdc -- destroying ajna had seemed to be not so bad, at the end, but now... now she thinks caroline might judge her for acquiescing so readily. it's not as though elena had really liked it, she'd just... accepted that there was nothing she could do to stop it, and she'd decided that following armada and protecting the rest of the recruits was more important than her personal reservations about destroying the planet. she didn't enjoy it, of course she didn't, but she had a job, and it was one that she was determined to do well. but who knows what caroline will think of it? she's managed to hold onto her moral center through everything that happened to them in mystic falls, while elena's has gotten a bit more... fluid. there's only so much you can loose before you decide that loosing any more is unacceptable, no matter the cost. elena's no longer willing to lose anything or anyone else, and it makes her more dangerous than she used to be. she knows that.
she also knows that caroline has never looked favorably on that, and she doesn't know what that will translate to when it comes to the cdc. there's no room for failure here, but she can't tell if caroline will accept that. ]
[ Caroline should be used to Weird Stuff by now. After all, her life had become a parade of things that she had never dreamed could actually exist. But apparently they all did exist, and now more than she ever knew existed.
There was a part of Caroline that could appreciate all of this. She looked out the windows of the crew ship NEHEDA and saw the final frontier spread out before her in a vast sea of stars. the sight left her truly in awe. She had seen the ocean before, been to the beach before for vacation, but even that had not made her feel so small in all her life. The beach had been wide and unending and Caroline had always just taken it's presence for granted, never really compared herself side by side with the ocean.
She did now with the stars. She looked out across the expanse and realized that all the Weird Stuff she was used to was nothing in comparison to this. And now matter how used to things she was, not even vampires or werewolves or hybrids could prepare her to be used to any of this.
Then Elena spoke up and she tore her eyes from the window, shaking off her discomfort with a smile. ]
A gun? [ She echoed, that smile fading slightly into confusion. ] Why would we need to use guns? [ She laughed slightly. ]
We're kind of weapons already, aren't we? [ Not that that was normal either, but it was Caroline's adjusted norm.
Although that adjusted norm had to be stretched lately to include Elena in the 'vampire' division. ]
[ elena gives a small smile at that, but it's probably obvious that she's not really feeling it, so she drops it after just a moment. ]
That's what I thought. Well, I'm going to help you learn, alright? You never know what skills might come in handy. I have a knife I'm getting training in using, and I bought myself a crossbow last time the shopping channel was open, I'll show you what I know with those too. It's not enough to be fast and strong here, you have to be clever, resourceful, and know your way around at least one weapon. Clever and resourceful you've got down, I'll help you with the weapons.
[ here she smiles for real, and reaches out to hold caroline's hand. the only way they're going to get through this is together, and she doesn't plan on leaving caroline behind in any capacity. caroline's natural desire to excel at whatever she does can only be a help here, and between that and elena's determination not to let any of her friends get hurt... they'll be okay. they have to be. elena won't accept anything else. ]
We're going to get through this, Care. I'm not going to let anything happen to you.
[ this time she tries to make her smile brighter, and she... mostly succeeds. ]
I'm painting a more dire picture than it usually is, I just want you to be prepared. There's a lot of downtime between all the missions, and I've met some really great people here. I just want you to be aware of the dangers. This is like being in the army. We even have a bootcamp!
Ugh this sounds like school all over again. [ Caroline groans.
Except really, she's just trying to cope. One second she was home, about to go spend time with her friends. A boy asked her if she knew how to find Mystic Grill. She said yes. And the next second she's an employee of a company that destroys planets for a living. Planets with life on them.
They just kill people. And she's a part of it now.
She's doing her best to try to get through this, and maybe some day she'll be Elena-level okay. Not that she imagines Elena to be happy with any of this, but she seems adjusted. Maybe one day Caroline will be too, just like she adjusted to being a vampire she'll adjust to this. She just needs time. Time and processing. And to get through either she has to try to act as normally as she can manage, connect to her old life any way she can.
Elena here helps with that. Elena is a huge help. She's not sure she could do it without her. She takes Elena's hand and smiles, though her smile doesn't quit reach her eyes.
Then Elena is smiling more and trying to shake it off and Caroline is taking a deep breath, shaking her shoulders out, and moving on with her. ]
Or bootcamp. Fun. [ She rolls her eyes. ] I'm not climbing through mud in the rain with those spiky wires over me like they do on TV, though.
Otherwise, I'll totally learn the gun. If I'm going to have one, I might as well know how to use it.
[ green team, soldier types; this place sure had a way of making dean feel all warm and homey but hell, since when did they think bringing in kids was a good idea?
not that he isn't one to know that age doesn't imply a lack of experience; he's been taught how to use a gun long before he was taught bullshit algebra, and by her age (or her apparent age, anyway), he'd already seen and killed his fair share of nightmares. no, see, he could reason putting an asshole like himself into the meat shield team, but people like her? it wasn't right.
he didn't know much about her, save for her name and the fact that she was a lot stronger and faster than she looked and her smile had one of those infectious qualities; anyone who could bust even a single smile in a place like this shouldn't be underestimated. and she was handling a weird situation extremely well, which probably just meant she's seen enough Weird already. he sure as hell didn't know, and if he learned anything in his own life, it's that it's simpler not to ask.
instead, he's toying with the gun this spaceship CCD or DCC or CDC or whatever they called themselves had provided him, before tossing a look at the girl, two relative newbies in a new realm of Messed Up.
just another tuesday. ] Hey - you ah - you doin' alright?
[ dean was pretty shit at this whole team concept; his only team had been sammy for a very long time; sometimes sammy and cas and neither of them were here (good riddance, too). he was still...adjusting and this was him making an effort. ]
[ If you asked Caroline, she didn't think any of this was fair on any of them. Some people may have agreed to be here but most of the others? They'd been tricked, just like she had. And what she had yes to hadn't been anything close to anything like this. It hadn't even been an agreeing yes of any sort, just a confirming yes.
Yet she was here, with others just like her. Prisoners, in her mind.
Not that she showed it, really. It wasn't just about appearing strong for others, it was about not losing control of herself. Even before her vampiric tendencies, Caroline was a practice in control. Everything down to the last second perfectly planned and executed. Even her personality was custom-tailored to make people happy. Despite all of that, Caroline found comfort in control over herself and her surroundings to the degree that she could control them. Which meant not losing it over this, even if it was a disaster in every shape of the word.
Caroline had been lost in her own thoughts, sitting with a gun across her lap that she had only just started to be trained on, when the boy- man near her caught her attention. She snapped out of her reverie and offered up a reassuring smile at him. ]
Yeah. [ She perked up. Then squeezed her eyes and her lips in a tight smile and shook her head. ] Sorry, guess I just... got lost in my own head there for a second.
I didn't even hear you come in. [ Well, she'd heard but she'd not paid attention. Then her smile got wry. ] But you are the quiet, skulking type, aren't you? Dean, right? [ She'd seen him around a few times, enough to know he was better with that gun than she could ever hope to be. ]
It's not nearly so bad as school. Or, I guess it is, just... in different ways?
[ because it's hard to deny that destroying planets is a bad thing. and there's that whole thing where they're going to have to kill possibly-sentient creatures in order to do their jobs. and... okay it's worse than school. by a pretty large margin. still, there's no point in dwelling when there's nothing they can do about it. they might as well just take things one step at a time and try to find the good in things where they can. it's not as though they don't have experience with that kind of thing.
it's not that elena is okay with all this, exactly -- it's still killing innocent animals, even if they're not sentient, and she has no idea what the cdc's criteria are for destroying a planet -- but she's accepted that this is her job now, and she won't put everyone back home in danger by refusing to do it. nor will she put everyone here in danger -- it's nearly as important to her that the recruits are kept safe as it is that her earth and mystic falls are too.
elena doesn't let go of caroline's hand, holding it tightly in her own as she laughs. she hadn't realized having someone from home who could properly empathize with her would be such a help, but... well, after trying to navigate the minefield that is ripper stefan, caroline is a breath of fresh air. ]
You know, bootcamp might actually be good for you. I had my training with Ric, and I've had some good teachers since I've been here, too, but you rely too much on your strength and speed in a fight. [ which elena can say from distressing experience, but she's not going to think about that. ] You could use some instruction in how to throw a punch, and stuff.
I can help with the gun thing, but I might get you in touch with Steve Rogers, see if he'd be willing to help you like he's helped me.
GUESS WHO DID NOT GET THIS TAG BECAUSE I DIDN"T HAVE THE RIGHT EMAIL HERE i am so sorry !!!!
[ Yeah, these guys were tricking sons of bitches, if you asked him. Hell, even if you didn't, he must've belted it out enough times for it to be heard, when he first arrived. That whole yes thing was just flat out insulting, and they used the best excuse in the book to make him agree; they needed help, please, there's a demon nearby, will you come? Annoyingly simple, really.
There's that smile again, and his answer is nothing but a brief and lopsided press to his mouth. ] I don't blame you; this place shoves a lot down your throat all at once, doesn't it.
[ Quiet, skulking type was more accurate than he would like to admit, but that might as well be written in his file. He watches her with a careful sort of eye, measured, lingering on the weapon on her lap.
God, no. How old was she? Eighteen, nineteen at most? This wasn't right, regardless of what she may have faced in her world to be put into this team. But she was playing this game of control, and so would he. At least this wasn't purgatory, and so far, nothing was trying to eat him. Small bonus points, for now. ] Hey now, I'm a ray of sunshine when i want to be, but yeah. That's me.
[ A sigh, slowly pushed out before he's nodding at that gun. ] How's that thing treating you?
![[personal profile]](https://www.dreamwidth.org/img/silk/identity/user.png){kind=small}
REUNITED AND IT FEELS SO GOOD
that doesn't change the fact that when caroline had showed up, she'd been glad, just for a second. after that she remembered where they were and what it meant, of course, but that doesn't change the fact that for just that one second, she was happy to see her. it's something she feels guilty about now -- it's not good that caroline is here, not by a long shot -- but she's trying her best to make up for it by being the most informative she can possibly be about all this. ]
Okay, so you're on green team. That means you're helping to keep the recruits safe -- which means that we're basically meat shields. We take care of the people who would try to kill everyone else. Last planet it was a non-sentient race called the shai, but on Macha it might be different, we don't know yet. Do you know how to shoot a gun?
[ as far as elena knows caroline has no experience with guns -- why would she need any? vampires are far more deadly than any gun -- but she might be wrong. who knows what she's missed back home, if she's missed anything where caroline is concerned -- she's not sure what time it is exactly that caroline is from yet.
it's easier to think about these things than to actually let herself process that caroline Is here, and eventually she'll have to help destroy macha just like elena had to help destroy ajna. it's alarming how having someone new here can throw into such stark relief what elena has managed to adjust to in the months she's been with the cdc -- destroying ajna had seemed to be not so bad, at the end, but now... now she thinks caroline might judge her for acquiescing so readily. it's not as though elena had really liked it, she'd just... accepted that there was nothing she could do to stop it, and she'd decided that following armada and protecting the rest of the recruits was more important than her personal reservations about destroying the planet. she didn't enjoy it, of course she didn't, but she had a job, and it was one that she was determined to do well. but who knows what caroline will think of it? she's managed to hold onto her moral center through everything that happened to them in mystic falls, while elena's has gotten a bit more... fluid. there's only so much you can loose before you decide that loosing any more is unacceptable, no matter the cost. elena's no longer willing to lose anything or anyone else, and it makes her more dangerous than she used to be. she knows that.
she also knows that caroline has never looked favorably on that, and she doesn't know what that will translate to when it comes to the cdc. there's no room for failure here, but she can't tell if caroline will accept that. ]
no subject
There was a part of Caroline that could appreciate all of this. She looked out the windows of the crew ship NEHEDA and saw the final frontier spread out before her in a vast sea of stars. the sight left her truly in awe. She had seen the ocean before, been to the beach before for vacation, but even that had not made her feel so small in all her life. The beach had been wide and unending and Caroline had always just taken it's presence for granted, never really compared herself side by side with the ocean.
She did now with the stars. She looked out across the expanse and realized that all the Weird Stuff she was used to was nothing in comparison to this. And now matter how used to things she was, not even vampires or werewolves or hybrids could prepare her to be used to any of this.
Then Elena spoke up and she tore her eyes from the window, shaking off her discomfort with a smile. ]
A gun? [ She echoed, that smile fading slightly into confusion. ] Why would we need to use guns? [ She laughed slightly. ]
We're kind of weapons already, aren't we? [ Not that that was normal either, but it was Caroline's adjusted norm.
Although that adjusted norm had to be stretched lately to include Elena in the 'vampire' division. ]
no subject
That's what I thought. Well, I'm going to help you learn, alright? You never know what skills might come in handy. I have a knife I'm getting training in using, and I bought myself a crossbow last time the shopping channel was open, I'll show you what I know with those too. It's not enough to be fast and strong here, you have to be clever, resourceful, and know your way around at least one weapon. Clever and resourceful you've got down, I'll help you with the weapons.
[ here she smiles for real, and reaches out to hold caroline's hand. the only way they're going to get through this is together, and she doesn't plan on leaving caroline behind in any capacity. caroline's natural desire to excel at whatever she does can only be a help here, and between that and elena's determination not to let any of her friends get hurt... they'll be okay. they have to be. elena won't accept anything else. ]
We're going to get through this, Care. I'm not going to let anything happen to you.
[ this time she tries to make her smile brighter, and she... mostly succeeds. ]
I'm painting a more dire picture than it usually is, I just want you to be prepared. There's a lot of downtime between all the missions, and I've met some really great people here. I just want you to be aware of the dangers. This is like being in the army. We even have a bootcamp!
no subject
Except really, she's just trying to cope. One second she was home, about to go spend time with her friends. A boy asked her if she knew how to find Mystic Grill. She said yes. And the next second she's an employee of a company that destroys planets for a living. Planets with life on them.
They just kill people. And she's a part of it now.
She's doing her best to try to get through this, and maybe some day she'll be Elena-level okay. Not that she imagines Elena to be happy with any of this, but she seems adjusted. Maybe one day Caroline will be too, just like she adjusted to being a vampire she'll adjust to this. She just needs time. Time and processing. And to get through either she has to try to act as normally as she can manage, connect to her old life any way she can.
Elena here helps with that. Elena is a huge help. She's not sure she could do it without her. She takes Elena's hand and smiles, though her smile doesn't quit reach her eyes.
Then Elena is smiling more and trying to shake it off and Caroline is taking a deep breath, shaking her shoulders out, and moving on with her. ]
Or bootcamp. Fun. [ She rolls her eyes. ] I'm not climbing through mud in the rain with those spiky wires over me like they do on TV, though.
Otherwise, I'll totally learn the gun. If I'm going to have one, I might as well know how to use it.
IDK OK
not that he isn't one to know that age doesn't imply a lack of experience; he's been taught how to use a gun long before he was taught bullshit algebra, and by her age (or her apparent age, anyway), he'd already seen and killed his fair share of nightmares. no, see, he could reason putting an asshole like himself into the meat shield team, but people like her? it wasn't right.
he didn't know much about her, save for her name and the fact that she was a lot stronger and faster than she looked and her smile had one of those infectious qualities; anyone who could bust even a single smile in a place like this shouldn't be underestimated. and she was handling a weird situation extremely well, which probably just meant she's seen enough Weird already. he sure as hell didn't know, and if he learned anything in his own life, it's that it's simpler not to ask.
instead, he's toying with the gun this spaceship CCD or DCC or CDC or whatever they called themselves had provided him, before tossing a look at the girl, two relative newbies in a new realm of Messed Up.
just another tuesday. ] Hey - you ah - you doin' alright?
[ dean was pretty shit at this whole team concept; his only team had been sammy for a very long time; sometimes sammy and cas and neither of them were here (good riddance, too). he was still...adjusting and this was him making an effort. ]
NO YOU'RE BEAUTIFUL <33333
Yet she was here, with others just like her. Prisoners, in her mind.
Not that she showed it, really. It wasn't just about appearing strong for others, it was about not losing control of herself. Even before her vampiric tendencies, Caroline was a practice in control. Everything down to the last second perfectly planned and executed. Even her personality was custom-tailored to make people happy. Despite all of that, Caroline found comfort in control over herself and her surroundings to the degree that she could control them. Which meant not losing it over this, even if it was a disaster in every shape of the word.
Caroline had been lost in her own thoughts, sitting with a gun across her lap that she had only just started to be trained on, when the boy- man near her caught her attention. She snapped out of her reverie and offered up a reassuring smile at him. ]
Yeah. [ She perked up. Then squeezed her eyes and her lips in a tight smile and shook her head. ] Sorry, guess I just... got lost in my own head there for a second.
I didn't even hear you come in. [ Well, she'd heard but she'd not paid attention. Then her smile got wry. ] But you are the quiet, skulking type, aren't you? Dean, right? [ She'd seen him around a few times, enough to know he was better with that gun than she could ever hope to be. ]
no subject
[ because it's hard to deny that destroying planets is a bad thing. and there's that whole thing where they're going to have to kill possibly-sentient creatures in order to do their jobs. and... okay it's worse than school. by a pretty large margin. still, there's no point in dwelling when there's nothing they can do about it. they might as well just take things one step at a time and try to find the good in things where they can. it's not as though they don't have experience with that kind of thing.
it's not that elena is okay with all this, exactly -- it's still killing innocent animals, even if they're not sentient, and she has no idea what the cdc's criteria are for destroying a planet -- but she's accepted that this is her job now, and she won't put everyone back home in danger by refusing to do it. nor will she put everyone here in danger -- it's nearly as important to her that the recruits are kept safe as it is that her earth and mystic falls are too.
elena doesn't let go of caroline's hand, holding it tightly in her own as she laughs. she hadn't realized having someone from home who could properly empathize with her would be such a help, but... well, after trying to navigate the minefield that is ripper stefan, caroline is a breath of fresh air. ]
You know, bootcamp might actually be good for you. I had my training with Ric, and I've had some good teachers since I've been here, too, but you rely too much on your strength and speed in a fight. [ which elena can say from distressing experience, but she's not going to think about that. ] You could use some instruction in how to throw a punch, and stuff.
I can help with the gun thing, but I might get you in touch with Steve Rogers, see if he'd be willing to help you like he's helped me.
GUESS WHO DID NOT GET THIS TAG BECAUSE I DIDN"T HAVE THE RIGHT EMAIL HERE i am so sorry !!!!
There's that smile again, and his answer is nothing but a brief and lopsided press to his mouth. ] I don't blame you; this place shoves a lot down your throat all at once, doesn't it.
[ Quiet, skulking type was more accurate than he would like to admit, but that might as well be written in his file. He watches her with a careful sort of eye, measured, lingering on the weapon on her lap.
God, no. How old was she? Eighteen, nineteen at most? This wasn't right, regardless of what she may have faced in her world to be put into this team. But she was playing this game of control, and so would he. At least this wasn't purgatory, and so far, nothing was trying to eat him. Small bonus points, for now. ] Hey now, I'm a ray of sunshine when i want to be, but yeah. That's me.
[ A sigh, slowly pushed out before he's nodding at that gun. ] How's that thing treating you?